Meeting a couple for the first time? Where to meet for your first date?

Getting into the lifestyle can be a very exciting and wonderful experience but, it can also be very nerve racking. We spend hours on the internet looking at profiles, pictures and messaging couples hoping to find a connection and or attractiveness that both partners agree on. Who knew that finding a couple would be so difficult?

Finally, you find a couple that you both agree on and find attractive, you both agree you would like to get to know them better. So the question is “where to meet?” Meeting a new couple is almost like going on a blind date. Just because you have seen some pictures and read a little snippet about the couple doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to hit it off and be compatible. There are so many things that can go wrong. I have experienced and heard it all…. So what do you do? Meet at a restaurant or meet at a local swing club?

Some couples prefer to meet at a restaurant. You can spend a couple of hours eating a nice meal, get to know each other a little better and see if there is any chemistry between the four of you. Ultimately, this sounds like the best choice, right? However, if you are a veteran swinger like me, you have had some bad experiences with your dinner dates. Anything can happen and I have heard it all… from the couple that shows up 15 years older than their pictures or not even resembling their pictures. You might even get the couple who shows up to a nice restaurant in a greasy shirt, cut-off shorts and hasn’t seen a shower in a couple of days. I have also heard of the couple that orders everything on the menu and then expects you to pay the bill. Some couples want to meet for a couple of drinks and ready the hit the sheets after 20 minutes. Informing your date that you don’t play on first dates can help you get out of an uncomfortable situation. Maybe there is just no chemistry between you, hard to find things in common, awkward silences, now you’ve wasted your first free night in weeks, spent money on a baby sitter, and all those nights you spent emailing back and forth was a total waste of time. Now you have to go back home and start all over with the hopes of finding another couple that you two agree on. Hopefully you haven’t had any of these situations happen to you. Although these situations have happened to swingers, there has been the successful date when you can’t believe all the stars align, chemistry, attractiveness and you feel like you’ve known each other forever and you become good friends in and out of the bedroom.

Other swingers, especially the veterans, like to meet at a local swing club. This can be another good option. You’ve been messaging several couples over the internet and finally get a night free, why gamble with one couple when you can plan to meet several in one night. Your chances are better to find chemistry. You might even meet someone new in the club that you never chatted with before. This sounds like the better choice, however, it does have a few negatives with it. First off, depending on your club of choice you might not get enough quiet, one on one time that you would like. You also run the risk of someone being a little nervous and may drink too much (this could happen in a restaurant as well but I personally think it’s more likely in a club). And then, you may also get the couple that meets and in 20 minutes and they are ready to play (this could also happen at a restaurant). This being said, if something goes bad with one couple the good thing is you can excuse yourself politely and start talking to someone else and your night isn’t completely wasted. The swing club gives you more opportunities to mix and mingle with others and find the chemistry we all look for. The clubs offer lots of like minded adults to talk with and hopefully you will find a couple or couples with that attractiveness and chemistry we all search for. And most swing clubs have some type of quiet room or patio away from the party if you are looking for more conversation time. Meeting in person gives you the chance to get to know each other better than messaging back and forth on the internet. And remember just because you meet at a swing club does not mean you are obligated to do anything you don’t want to. If you find a couple or two that you are interested in, now you have the opportunity to invite them on a future dinner date and hopefully some playtime.

With whatever you decide, always remember to be upfront with the couples you talk to and plan on meeting. Whether you are meeting them for dinner or at a swing club, it always better to let them know you don’t play on first dates. And if you plan on meeting more than one couple at a club let them know so there won’t be any suprises. Don’t lead them on and cause unnecessary hurt feelings, this is just drama which no one is looking for. Always be honest and respectful and keep in mind this phrase, Treat others like you would want to be treated. One last word of advice, don’t go out to your local swing club the same night you turned down another couple. The chances of running into each other at the same club could make for some uncomfortable explanations, lol.