What Is Swinging Really? Breaking Down Some Myths…

While swinging or swingers is a fairly common term, there are still a lot of people that have absolutely no idea what it actually means or entails. There are so many misconceptions around the swinging lifestyle, and swinging gets a bad name from those who just don’t understand it. I want to talk about a few of the more common myths I’ve come across in this lifestyle.

Swinging can be defined as the act of sharing yourself and your spouse with another couple or couples, with the full knowledge of all involved. Swingers are people of all ages, races, and social status. They are NOT all old, fat and ugly people looking for orgies! Based on my personal experiences most are between the ages of 25 and 50 and in model condition. Not all are perfect, but who really is, and some do have fuller figures but many are quite sexy. There is a really good mix of all kinds of people that engage in the swinging lifestyle so it can’t be stereotyped as to what a swinger looks like. That’s right, anyone fits the profile. So, the next time you see your hot neighbors next door and those dirty little thoughts cross your mind…you never know, they might just be swingers waiting to come out.

As far as the orgies, I’ve personally never been involved in one of these but I know a few couples who have. Swinging isn’t one big freak fest orgy every time. My version of tame and your version may be very different but it’s not as wild as some people may think. I also want to clear up that just because someone may be a swinger doesn’t mean they are into anal, kinky sex, BDSM, or any kind of fetishes. There are some that are, but this is not a given. I also want to mention that I found in several articles and in conversation it is believed swingers aren’t big believers in protection…and no I don’t mean our right to bear arms! Ok, so my question is why in the world in this day and age with all that is going on with STD’s and unplanned pregnancy would we not use protection? It is actually proven that swingers are more educated and a lot more careful when it comes to STD’s than the average people. They also are found to be tested more regularly and are more likely to use protection than the average person.

I had a vanilla friend ask me once if swinging was just my husbands way of letting me have sex with whoever I wanted. Well absolutely not! “Swinger,” does not mean “free to fuck all”. I don’t mean to be so brutally blunt but it really doesn’t mean anything like this and if you have mistaken this lifestyle for that concept you should really take a step back and reconsider your lifestyle choices. Another bad misconception in description is “wife swapping”. This is very inaccurate and implies that swinging is male favored activity, which is not true. Swinging involves the participation of both partners, but between you and me we all know the women call the shots!

Now, this is probably one of the most common reactions I’ve personally gotten when telling someone we are swingers, “so you guys go to those parties where you just put your keys in a bowl and pick a partner.” HELL NO! A set of keys are not going to determine my sexual partner for the night! It was actually during World War II that swinger pilots and their wives invented the term “key club”, which was unknown in the forties, became widely known in the fifties and sixties then slowly started to not be used in the swinging scene. Things have made a very nice turn for the better and though these parties probably still take place they are not nearly as common as they once were.

Swingers generally are not perverts or nymphomaniacs. This one kind of makes me laugh. Yes, we love to have sex and we are way more adventurous than the average vanilla couple but we don’t necessarily need sex all the time. Most swingers are no more “easy” than the average person. We aren’t out there in society looking for our next sex fix. Swingers usually are very selective when picking their sexual partners. Many swingers are flirty and more free spirited but this doesn’t mean that they are going to jump into bed with every person or couple they flirt with. Swingers like to have some sort of attraction before heading to the bedroom for some hot passionate…well you get the point. We are SELECTIVE!

Then of course there is that horrible word we all have heard at some point or another while in this lifestyle…CHEAT. I hate that word and swingers get labeled all the time as cheaters. Swinging is not cheating. It’s so misunderstood and people are quick to set judgment before taking the time to realize that cheating is sneaking around in the dark behind your partners back. Swingers are open and honest with their partners. Both people in a swinger relationship must be involved and open minded before this lifestyle will work for them. In fact, one of the requirements for people seeking to join many swinger groups, clubs, and parties is that they must be in a happy marriage or long term relationship. Swinging is an open honest way of exploring our sexual fantasies without having to “cheat”. It’s a healthy additive to an already strong relationship. If you think about the big picture, swingers don’t threaten morality; we threaten immorality by opening up the option of sex with someone other than our spouse in a good and honest way. Swinging isn’t an escape or a “fixer upper” for an unhappy relationship. If you have troubles in paradise then stay clear of swinging!

In closing, there is one thing I am absolutely sure of since becoming a part of this swinger lifestyle. Swingers in a general sense are a happier and more sexually adventurous group of people. A high degree of trust is essential to be a swinger, and you must leave any jealously you have behind to be able to safely explore this open world of sex in a way that is super fun and very entertaining!